The Browns Weeding the garden

Good evening gents. Here we go Brownies here we go...interception.....

Tired of this? So am I? Think that things will be different under a new regime? Now you've lost me. Browns football is not a high flying offensive attack. In fact, even if I knew we could be successful with that, which we can't, I still wouldn't want it. I don't want to watch the Browns unless we're playing ugly football and stepping on the throats of linebackers as we ram the ball up the field 4 yards at a time. THAT'S Cleveland football. This is Cleveland. It snows, we're hairy, we drink beer, it's dirty and I love it. The thing I hate most about the Steelers? That they copied our style of football and had more success than we did in recent years with it. For this, all Steelers fans should burn in hell, copycats. My main regret is that we didn't draft Bettis.

Brandon Weeden is a nice guy. As is Mike Brown. I consider them to be the same person - unfit for the positions they're in. Weeden is a satisfactory starter, in a warm climate on a team bursting with talent. We are neither. This is one of the reasons I throw my full support behind Brian Hoyer. Did I mention he's a CLEVELANDER WHO WENT TO ST. IGNATIUS??? If you even DARE to try to counter that, you're a communist. And you certainly aren't a proud Clevelander. I lose every single fantasy league I enter not because I don't know what I'm doing, but because damnit I'd rather lose with a team of 90% Cleveland players than win without. But since I know some of you morons will actually want statistics, here we go:

In passer rating, Weeden is ranked 29th with 72.6.

In total QBR, which is a fantastic statistic which accounts for more than just what the QB does when he throws, he's even worse with a QBR second worst of all eligible QBs at 26.6.

To make the jump from where he is now, to where he NEEDS to be in order for the Browns to win meaningful amounts of games, is basically impossible. If you're going to win 5-8 might as well do it with a Cleveland guy. We know what Weeden can do and it's not that much. Let's say he improves to the middle of the pack. He still would suck. Quit being homers and just come to this realization. He PAA is actually NEGATIVE. This is similar to the +/- statistic in basketball. This means he actively shits on your team while he is on the field. That's not good, unless you're in Amsterdam soliciting a prostitute.

What makes me think Hoyer will be any better? I don't even care, he's from Cleveland so kiss my ass. But if you look up the same stats for Hoyer's one game you'll find that they're fairly comparable in passer rating but Hoyer's QBR is significantly better than Weedens. And if you REALLY want a fair comparison you should compare each of their first starts against each other...and we all know how Weeden's first start went. HERE WE GO BROWNIES HERE WE GO WOOF WOOF.